Loba ada jak tajuk. Berangan lam SPICE Bus indah (sapa hidup sezaman ngan aku mesti tauk ngan ke"glemer"an SPICE Bus, eh...bas nok biru-mirah k sidak dang ager Ginger-Scary-Sporty-Baby-Posh kenjit2-berolah kiut-rasa kacak dolok marek bah). Maka sak jak nait bas Sibu-Sarikei. toklah kerja aku tiap minggu, kuang-kuit sarikei-sibu demi mencari setitik kebahagian dalam hidup ku yang ala2 "oh tedah" knek tok (Mel, pasang lagu pelangi petang lok!). Sebenarnya siklah juak susah gilak aku nok ke sibu, nait PeraukBotEkspressBasMyviSai dah sampey bah, total up masa perjalanan kali dlm 3-4 jam. apa pendapat ko? senang nak? tp maintain ku ke sibu tiap minggu. apa ku takut sidak penjahat ngan gengsta di sibu rindu nok nanggar olah mintak puji aku eh, tpaksa juak ku bertarung nyawa nok ke sibu, demi muas hati sidak. kita jadi YB tok nang kedak ya, mun sik ngabas pengundi klak, dikata urang lidah tidak bertulang lah, lembut gigi dari lidah lah, lidah bercabang lah (aku tek YB duhal...bukan cikgu??? Kak Mbok kah?)...
Nok dah tiap minggu kuang kuit tek nak...mcm2 lah pe'el manusia ku diat ku. ney kata nemiak ompuan tgh stoned rembak-rembeh aik mata bertepon ngan gerek nya madah sik sabar nok "main" lah, Bangla nait bas kompiden sik tauk siney nok turun lah, urg gila berbukut lah, nyonya yg instead of nekan bell nya kiak kaong nyuroh drebar berenti lah...nang macam2. nemu juak aku tok jenis sik pandey tidor dlm pjalanan, ney x macam2 tebiat (n buang tebiat) yg ku tanggar. tp dlm banyak2 ya tek xda yg dapat celen experience ku aritok tek. gitok ceritanya...
Aku nait bas 15menet awal dr jam bas ya berjalan. ari dah kol 11.30 masa ya...matahari nang tengah abisan kowat. nemu jak aku tok nang kalah ngan matahari, lalu joros lah aku encarik dasan nok ada tabir tek. dah santun dah ku dudok, tang ada jak nait sorang apek ngan onyah (Kak Aji Tuyah ngelar nyonya=onyah) tok tek. mun diekot rupa nya sik lah tua gilak sidak duak tok, dlm awal 50an lah kali. aku jak ngelar apek-onyah, sik ku nok ngelar bang aji-kak aji nak? apek tok tek serta datang lalu mulut nya tang bengut2 bunyi urg sik puas ati nanggar aku dudok sorang dirik. aih, nakpa di sak ati kau? dudoklah depan aku tok, maka kosong. dah burit ku besar, sekati aku lah dudok sorang kah, berpangkuk ngan konduktor kah. aku tek alu jadi ke bengut2 juak, tp lam ati ku ajak lah. kali apek tok tek phsycic kah apa, nya pun lalu dudok depan aku. yang onyah ya tek, lalu narit tabir aku k cover seat laki nya tek. aih? ko bayar Hot-Seat kah nait bas hinggut-hinggut tok? malas ku nok banyak cerita, tang bodo jak kurasa mun ku angkat jabar. bila onyah ya tek nok dudok sebelah lakinya tek nak, laki nya bagey urang bungkas, nyuroh onyah ya dudok sebelah aku. aih, bini aku kah onyah ya? apa disak ati ko ngan aku? maka bini kau, dudok ngan kau lah. sikkan aku disuroh ko berempit demi kau tek nok terkengkeng sorang dirik depan ya. besar agik tuboh aku dari kau laki bini. bukan aku nok kurang ajar, tapi sabila onyah ya nanggar muka aku, nang ku jelin ku dengan jelin paling FIERCE kurasa. terkesup j*b*r onyah ya kali, lalu nudok dirik nya sebelah lakinya. 2-2 sik berbunyi. baruk ko tauk Tyra Banks pun pandey nait bas (aku lah ya tek...).
bergerak lah bas ya tek bila 11.45. lam ku layap2 dengar lagu ramlah ram k henpon ku, sayup2 ku nengar sora urang kekekelekubek berkatik. duhal kapel apek-onyah ya berguro. berpegang muka lah, bergusok belakang lah, berpelok pinggang lah. Aih, cerita Yasmin Ahmad terbaru kah? tertuleh-tuleh juak aku tek ney tauk ada kamera nak, sidak wakenabeb kah nok ngenak aku, macam2 aznil kah. rindok juak ku nanggar olah sidak duak. sik banyak urg tua ditemu kita gik masih mok bermanjak bah...ngeso affection to each other. sik salah bah, dah namanya laki bini, sak nya lah nak. daripada laki-bini masing2 mbak muka menjus, laki berjalan ujong tanjung yang bini terhirit-hirit ngembak barang di belakang. ada urg tek ingga nanggar nok kedak ya, tapi nanggar sidak nembiak nok lom tentu ada surat nikah berkeruey-berkerobok sik ingga, nak?
Tapi nak, lam onyah ya ngusok2 belakang apek ya, tang ada jak apek ya ngepit tangan onyah ya. ktorg mok tauk apa tindakan refleks onyah ya? harusssss ktkorg ambik tauk...digigit nya belakang apek ya! mula2 tang ganas jak, pasya gigit2 lembut sambil tangan main rambut-telinga apek ya!! serta muka nya st*m-clorox!!! dueeeeyyyy koh...tok dah bukan bermanjak, tok foreplay namanya! mati kita! dahlah depan muka aku! nyesal ku muji tadik!! berbual indah rasa nyawa ku, ntah gadong ntah engkodok kah muka ku masa ya...celaken juak eh. perlu kah di dalam bas? kenak ktk 2 sik nunggu di rumah? RM2 jak tambang ko, siklah kurasa jaoh gik nok sampey rumah kau. sabar lah owh! aih...giney gaya aku tok??? mun ktk 2 kapel yg hawt tek berolah gia, mmg ku dah nyerko sambil "boleh I join juak?" (aih...berliur duhal Kundur di belakang ya)...oh tidak! no no no....NOOOO!!! terlebih sudah ini apek sama onyah! Mun Kak Aji Saadiah nanggar memang dah disembur k air sireh "lokan ngan ambal" ktk 2! sik kempang mata ku nanggar aih... sib bait sik lamak kakya nya 2 turun dari bas ya. astagapir...beliang sa nyawa ku...segelorat-gelorat olah aku, sik juak ku sampey tahap ya...tp nak...sempat juak ku amik gambar (bukan masa nya gik bergoho ya lah), masa nya dah kembali renah (kali lekak ditepas malaikat kali). nang Shocking Asia lah experience Kundur aritok...mun di negeri omputeh tek dah ready ku mindset nanggar nok kedak ya kali. tok di malaysia, apek ngan onyah gik ya...oh tidak!!!!!
Nok dah tiap minggu kuang kuit tek nak...mcm2 lah pe'el manusia ku diat ku. ney kata nemiak ompuan tgh stoned rembak-rembeh aik mata bertepon ngan gerek nya madah sik sabar nok "main" lah, Bangla nait bas kompiden sik tauk siney nok turun lah, urg gila berbukut lah, nyonya yg instead of nekan bell nya kiak kaong nyuroh drebar berenti lah...nang macam2. nemu juak aku tok jenis sik pandey tidor dlm pjalanan, ney x macam2 tebiat (n buang tebiat) yg ku tanggar. tp dlm banyak2 ya tek xda yg dapat celen experience ku aritok tek. gitok ceritanya...
Aku nait bas 15menet awal dr jam bas ya berjalan. ari dah kol 11.30 masa ya...matahari nang tengah abisan kowat. nemu jak aku tok nang kalah ngan matahari, lalu joros lah aku encarik dasan nok ada tabir tek. dah santun dah ku dudok, tang ada jak nait sorang apek ngan onyah (Kak Aji Tuyah ngelar nyonya=onyah) tok tek. mun diekot rupa nya sik lah tua gilak sidak duak tok, dlm awal 50an lah kali. aku jak ngelar apek-onyah, sik ku nok ngelar bang aji-kak aji nak? apek tok tek serta datang lalu mulut nya tang bengut2 bunyi urg sik puas ati nanggar aku dudok sorang dirik. aih, nakpa di sak ati kau? dudoklah depan aku tok, maka kosong. dah burit ku besar, sekati aku lah dudok sorang kah, berpangkuk ngan konduktor kah. aku tek alu jadi ke bengut2 juak, tp lam ati ku ajak lah. kali apek tok tek phsycic kah apa, nya pun lalu dudok depan aku. yang onyah ya tek, lalu narit tabir aku k cover seat laki nya tek. aih? ko bayar Hot-Seat kah nait bas hinggut-hinggut tok? malas ku nok banyak cerita, tang bodo jak kurasa mun ku angkat jabar. bila onyah ya tek nok dudok sebelah lakinya tek nak, laki nya bagey urang bungkas, nyuroh onyah ya dudok sebelah aku. aih, bini aku kah onyah ya? apa disak ati ko ngan aku? maka bini kau, dudok ngan kau lah. sikkan aku disuroh ko berempit demi kau tek nok terkengkeng sorang dirik depan ya. besar agik tuboh aku dari kau laki bini. bukan aku nok kurang ajar, tapi sabila onyah ya nanggar muka aku, nang ku jelin ku dengan jelin paling FIERCE kurasa. terkesup j*b*r onyah ya kali, lalu nudok dirik nya sebelah lakinya. 2-2 sik berbunyi. baruk ko tauk Tyra Banks pun pandey nait bas (aku lah ya tek...).
bergerak lah bas ya tek bila 11.45. lam ku layap2 dengar lagu ramlah ram k henpon ku, sayup2 ku nengar sora urang kekekelekubek berkatik. duhal kapel apek-onyah ya berguro. berpegang muka lah, bergusok belakang lah, berpelok pinggang lah. Aih, cerita Yasmin Ahmad terbaru kah? tertuleh-tuleh juak aku tek ney tauk ada kamera nak, sidak wakenabeb kah nok ngenak aku, macam2 aznil kah. rindok juak ku nanggar olah sidak duak. sik banyak urg tua ditemu kita gik masih mok bermanjak bah...ngeso affection to each other. sik salah bah, dah namanya laki bini, sak nya lah nak. daripada laki-bini masing2 mbak muka menjus, laki berjalan ujong tanjung yang bini terhirit-hirit ngembak barang di belakang. ada urg tek ingga nanggar nok kedak ya, tapi nanggar sidak nembiak nok lom tentu ada surat nikah berkeruey-berkerobok sik ingga, nak?
Tapi nak, lam onyah ya ngusok2 belakang apek ya, tang ada jak apek ya ngepit tangan onyah ya. ktorg mok tauk apa tindakan refleks onyah ya? harusssss ktkorg ambik tauk...digigit nya belakang apek ya! mula2 tang ganas jak, pasya gigit2 lembut sambil tangan main rambut-telinga apek ya!! serta muka nya st*m-clorox!!! dueeeeyyyy koh...tok dah bukan bermanjak, tok foreplay namanya! mati kita! dahlah depan muka aku! nyesal ku muji tadik!! berbual indah rasa nyawa ku, ntah gadong ntah engkodok kah muka ku masa ya...celaken juak eh. perlu kah di dalam bas? kenak ktk 2 sik nunggu di rumah? RM2 jak tambang ko, siklah kurasa jaoh gik nok sampey rumah kau. sabar lah owh! aih...giney gaya aku tok??? mun ktk 2 kapel yg hawt tek berolah gia, mmg ku dah nyerko sambil "boleh I join juak?" (aih...berliur duhal Kundur di belakang ya)...oh tidak! no no no....NOOOO!!! terlebih sudah ini apek sama onyah! Mun Kak Aji Saadiah nanggar memang dah disembur k air sireh "lokan ngan ambal" ktk 2! sik kempang mata ku nanggar aih... sib bait sik lamak kakya nya 2 turun dari bas ya. astagapir...beliang sa nyawa ku...segelorat-gelorat olah aku, sik juak ku sampey tahap ya...tp nak...sempat juak ku amik gambar (bukan masa nya gik bergoho ya lah), masa nya dah kembali renah (kali lekak ditepas malaikat kali). nang Shocking Asia lah experience Kundur aritok...mun di negeri omputeh tek dah ready ku mindset nanggar nok kedak ya kali. tok di malaysia, apek ngan onyah gik ya...oh tidak!!!!!
32 comments:
OH NYAAAHHH!!!! hahahahaha sa cak sa!
aih eh....best juak pengalamn kau ya..knk kau sik rakam jak time aksi romantik ya..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH..
masa nya duak in action ya aku nang terkejut...sik terpikir mok ambik gambar/video...
aih...ney komen ku malam tadik xda..cobaan..
HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA cakarrrrr kali jak.Yarabiiii, amperrr juak Apek-Onyah ya.Ya bukan level Yasmin Ahmad, ya jak level porno orang tua ya.Tedah.
...and yet Apek ya mok nyuroh Onyah ya dok ngan kawu?Eeee.
yalah...apa ndak lam utak nya nyuroh onyah ya dudok ngan aku kah.
n dah bila ku miker, adakah gosok2 di belakang ya "cakar harimau" n "urut labah2"?? mati kita!
sik e..ku rs nya duak mmg dh plan nok 3some dlm bas..ya nya nyuroh bini nya dok ngan kau...p kau tek pesen sik layan..alu sik jadi..aku rasa lah..
ish...cicik nyawa ku nok 3some ngan sidak duak. sa nok mutah nyawa ku. ko tauk sik lepas nya gigit baju ya, ada lepak2 kunin aih...kak berkumor ngan kunyit kah apa kah...
munsik nang taik ogek semata...
mun taek ogek dh sampei dpt ninggal lepak ke baju ya...dh tahap kuntau hau lah mulut nya e..ndak ku..ada ko nengar crita majang kuntau? hahaha
cikgu majang ya kah? sik kau tauk koh...coba ko story ngan kakak lok jie...
yah..tauk ko ngan cikgu majang.. hahaha..kelak aku story..crita x sesuai utk tontonan umum yer adik2...
Gelik2 ati ku maca entri tok pok. Kak ya pandey rasa berbual indah. Dahla kak makan alu maca entri tok, haruss ku nahan segala dak nasik dak dagin dak udang kuar dari mulutku. (Saja jak madah aku makan nasik berlauk dagin ngan udang ngan kau).
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