If Tomorrow Never Comes

Ari marek (28 June 2008) sorang kawan kamekorang kembali menghadap Illahi. Syah lost his battle with cancer (aku sik ingat cancer apa). Sebaya kmkorang, babies of '83. He's my ex-schoolmate. Dari Tadika Bina sampey abis SPM2000. My early memories of him goes way back to tadika, masa mok rehearsal pakey majlis penyampaian hadiah. di Dewan Bina (kinek tok Dewan Hikmah). Masa interval, masing2 mukak bekal. and I still remember nya bekal Indomie and aku bekal sandwich. looking at my meal-box nya madah, "mintak sigek Sap"...and aku yang terkenal dengan jaik akal masa gik kecik said, "sik boleh. makan bekal ko mpun sia. lelah mak ku molah". and he cried. upon seeing that, my heart torn apart. aku bagi 2 the sandwich, and he smiled. we became frens again. In fact, we were good friends at kindies.

We were classmates in some years of our schooling days, but we found our own circle of frens. tapi oleh kerana sekolah kamekorg sik besar, we were still remain friends. walaupun kadang2 berterais-berterngak juak bila sik puas hati. 2-2 jak nang sora terbak-bak. tapi sama mcm kejadian Indomie-Sandwich, x lamak kelaie ya. other batchmates never seen us as close friends, but when we were left alone, we did have good talks. about life, studies and such. bila dah abis SPM, kadang2 ada bertemu, tapi jarang. thanx to internet, we do chat online sumtimes. and after years leaving school, Emie told me this, "Syah pernah madah ngan aku. nya rindok nanggar kita berkawan masa form5. tapi nya sik berani join, sbb nya rasa kita mcm sidak elit untuk batch kita (bukan elite- shasha,azza,watie,linda,abby)". it's kinda sad. i'd never intended to put any label to my circle of friends. But one thing i realized, kekonfidenan kmkorg is (yes, is...not only was) always being misunderstood as arrogance. sigh.

Dalam tahun 2003-2004 gia lah mun sik salah aku, aku nengar dari kawan2 lain, nya dapat cancer ya. masa nya di UM (correct me if i'm wrong). the moment i got my chance to chat with him, i did ask him personally. nya nang redha dengan apa yang jadi dengannya. not to mention, he was a fighter too. he never let the cancer thingy win over him. selagik nya mampu, nya akan join apa jak benda di-organize urang. pengilan kah, futsal kah, lepak2 kah. for raya last year, batch kamekorg ada molah reunion kecil-kecilan, just to gather people, trade contacts. n he came! unfortunately that's the last time i saw him. but upon fighting dengan sakitnya, he was very lucky to have kawan2 yang daknya anggap "brothers" to stick with him, throughout the ups and downs. not forgetting his wife. sik kenal rapat ngan bininya, penah nanggar muka jak. but from what i heard, the wife nang saaaaaaaaaaangat bait, saaaaaaaaaangat tabah, saaaaaaaangat penyayang ngan Syah. he's a lucky man indeed. and to the wife, pintu Syurga nang terngangak nunggu kitak.

Al-Fatihah

Syahrizan Bin Haron (1983-2010)

Gambar tok aku dapat dari FB Allahyarham Syah, since aku xda softcopy gambarnya. gambar2 lamak pun dah musnah oleh banjir. I put this pic here bukan suka2, aku paham sensitivity urang. But since ada urg nanyak aku, which one is him, so aku ngkah lah. and this is the only clear pic of him yg aku jumpa lam FB nya.

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As i said earlier, since kindies sampey knek tok i have my own circles of friends. A lot actually...almost too many (but one's can never have too many friends, aite?) Some remain in touch, some ada keluar kadang2, some sekadar kelakar sikit2 mun temu (mun gik aku, kelakar sikit2 pun dah bunyi nok mampus), ada yang sekadar senyum bila temu, ada yang mengapa sepi tanpa berita..........sadly ada yang "terbuang" as times passed us by. sik pernah mintak, but things happen. Tapi yang aku anggap sebagai "sisters" (ada brothers juaklah, tp kerana majority ompuan, ku gelar "sisters" jak senang) have been wif me through ups and downs, and still counting. mostly kmkorg dah kenal/berkawan lamak. To date, kamek 2 Sai dah berkawan for 21years, ngan Asnol 19years, Emie 15years, Oon 11years (kenal dah 15 tahun actually), Jijie kenal dah 13tahun tp rapat dah 10tahun, Tida dah 7tahun berkawan (berkawan dolok, then baruk tauk we're relatives), n Imelda kenal since matrix iaitu 9tahun yang lepas, tapi jadi rapat dalam 2-3tahun tok.

Sidak tok had coloured my life a lot. With plenty of beautiful hues. I know, i'm not the easiest person to befriend with. Loud, cynical, lazer ya'amatz, tend to have my says on everything, unbearable temperamental blablablabla u guys know better. Thanx for staying with me. Oleh kerana kitakorang, I'm a better person day by day, years by years. Mcm sidak 4org yang dah bersama dari zaman sekolah, forgive the Cruella Devil that I was. and do forgive me for anything that i had done, said, remarks or simply anything yang aku sik berniat tapi hurts u guys inside. if i ever judge u guys, talk behind u (among our "sisters" only of course)...it is simply because i dont want u to walk on the wrong pavements. from time to time, do correct me if wherever and whenever i do wrongs. yup, mak ayam kamu semua ini kadang2 ada juak time babo nya. and to all yang aku considered as friends (most importantly if u considered me as ur frens) forgive me for any of my wrongdoings and thanx for the friendships.

As the title says, i'm writing this just to let u know what i feel inside. bukan kerana aku ada napok penyakit kah apa. choi! Just.... if tomorrow never comes, i want u to know that i love u all. xoxo.

To my "sisters":
"Men, babies......doesn't matter. We are soulmates." (Samantha Jones, SATC2)